Quite Contrary: Growing Older with Pansy Division (#NSFW)
After taking a recording hiatus of seven years, Pansy Division is back with a new album entitled Quite Contrary, which dropped on September 9, 2016. As the old nursery rhyme goes, “Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?” According to the merry members of PD, their garden of musical delights grows in sturdy vines composed of crunchy electric guitars intertwined with heady lyrics, mostly from a gay male perspective, that blossom into an explosion of sound and vision that encapsulates everything I love about music.
The impassioned vocals of lead singer and guitarist Jon Ginoli spill my life story in three-minute spurts of truth, blending my passion for rock and roll with their classic pop melodies, the kind you can remember and sing along to almost instantly. But what makes this band stand out so far over other bands isn’t the fact that they opened for Green Day during their explosive Dookie tour (although that’s pretty cool); no, it’s that this is the first male rock band to openly express an alternative lifestyle, in all its pathos and glory, with absolutely zero apologies. Or in millennial speak, #nofucksgiven.
Jon’s bratty delivery is still intact after all these years, along with the consistently sharp, punky edges that define every PD song. It’s not a leap to consider Jon Ginoli and bassist/vocalist Chris Freeman as modern-day gay poets of rock and roll, with fellow bandmates Joel Reader and Luis Illades backing them up most brilliantly on lead guitar and drums, respectively. The boys have always prided themselves on telling it like it is with brutal honesty and candid observation, and their humorous moments are continually clever and never stale. This album, however, takes a detour that I never expected, yet one that I embrace wholeheartedly with open arms: during this spin around the record player, it turns out that the boys are finally growing up.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise once one acknowledges that the queer punk rock band is also celebrating a major milestone this year—they have been in existence for a whopping 25 years. A quarter of a century of catchy tunes that speak to the outsider, the outcast, the nerd, the slut, the sexually confused, the sexually experienced and, most importantly, the young fag alone in his room, pondering if life really does get better. It does. Trust me. I’m old enough now to know. The rallying cry of Pansy Division has long been about stirring the battle of LGBT equality into a frothy mix of power chords, soaring choruses, and aching lyrics that everyone can relate to. This is especially true now that we’re all growing older and, just maybe, even growing up a little bit as well in the process.
Even the new album cover puts this theory into practice. The two models splayed out in bed in their pajamas as shown above, namely Mark Ewert and Moon Trent, are the same ones featured on the cover artwork for Wish I’d Taken Pictures (1996) as photographed by Marc Gellar.
(On a side note, these two were also featured on the cover of Pansy Division’s second album Deflowered from 1994, also photographed by Marc Gellar.)
Twenty years later, I posit this to be an act of rebellion quite contrary to our youth-obsessed culture, especially in gay media. The band doesn’t need to pander to a young demographic to sell their brand. Check out the photos above—not only are the same pajamas worn, but the original photographer shot the same men two decades later, and in the exact same location too. In something as simple as a photograph, Pansy Division confronts the vagaries of ageism thrown about so carelessly in the queer lifestyle. Those guys look damn hot in their 40s, and I’m proud of everyone involved for taking what is probably considered a marketing risk. To hell with the naysayers, I think it totally pays off. In my mind, the easy intimacy of the models 20 years on only adds to the luster of growing older and wiser.
When I discovered this seminal band was playing at Sunnyvale in Brooklyn on Saturday, September 24th to support their new record, I bought tickets immediately. With a sense of building excitement, my husband Michael and I stumbled into the venue full of champagne and edibles. We arrived right before the band went on.
First stop was the loo, and while waiting in line for the bathroom, I realized that Jon was standing directly in front of me, a fact reinforced by a female fan gushing over him. When she left, I cleared my throat and introduced myself.
“Dario!” Jon exclaimed. He actually remembered me. “I read your book on the last tour,” he said, which was like music to my ears. He was referring to my erotic short-story collection Squeeze Pants that I had gifted him at their last show at the Bowery Electric in Manhattan. At that gig, once the opening act began, I located the merch table to purchase a PD shirt. After buying one, I paused and asked, “Do you think Jon will sign my copy of his book?” The man behind the table laughed. “Um, yeah, I’m sure I can do that for you,” he said, eyes twinkling. “Must be the glasses,” he decided, tapping his spectacles after it took me a beat too long to recognize him. Why would the lead singer of one of my all-time favorite bands be manning his own merch table? Needless to say, he was, and he signed my copy of his memoir Deflowered: My Life in Pansy Division before accepting a copy of my book—the best book exchange of my life up to this point. He even allowed me to take a silly selfie of us. Check out that magical night recounted in a previous blog post. At the time, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Here I had met Jon, a gay rocker—hello, a gay rocker!?!—who I respected and admired like crazy, and he had exceeded any expectations I might have had of him. He was gracious, funny, and down-to-earth. Still, he’s a hugely impressive rock star to me, so I guess that makes me a bona fide #starfucker.
Here are the boys in action at Sunnyvale:
The first song on Quite Contrary is “He’s Trouble,” which also started off the set at Sunnyvale, a rollicking jam about a magnetic attraction to a bad boy who you know is, deep down, nothing but “T-r-o-u-b-l-e, trouble with a capital T, t-r-o-u-b-l-e.” I’ve certainly met this guy. Hell, I’ve been this guy. “He’s Trouble” is a perfect re-introduction back into the world of Pansy Division after their last album That’s So Gay which debuted back in March of 2009.
The second song on the CD is called “Love Came Along.” Whoa. PD has a song about being in love. Love! That mushy feeling is usually mocked and scoffed by these guys. Don’t get it twisted; I love their ironic take on it. I mean, love is silly, it’s ridiculous and maddening and overwhelming in so many ways that it’s impossible to define. Sometimes it’s easier to make fun of love than to accept it. Suddenly, “Love Came Along” and changed everything, and I can totally relate to that sentiment. Hey, it happened to me too. I’ve been married to my man for five years now and together for 11 total. Not bad, eh? “Now all the rules have reset, I never wake up with regret, I’m only a slut for my man, only busting a nut in one man now that love came along….”
One of the things I adore about this band is the hilarious banter sprinkled sporadically throughout their songs. The third tune “You’re On the Phone” has one of my favorite funny exchanges, where a male phone operator thinks he’s talking to a “Miss,” not a man. That used to happen to me all the time growing up. “Hello, am I speaking to the lady of the house?” No, asshole, you’re speaking to the lady of the house’s son. Sigh.
In “Too Much to Ask,” Jon laments about how men nowadays are really just a bunch of “flakes” and “babies.” Right? Where are the return phone calls or texts? Where are some goddamn basic manners, for heaven’s sake? This mindset is most definitely a distillation of growing older, and I find it profoundly disturbing how rude and uncaring people can be these days. I myself belong to the Gentlemen’s Club of Impeccable Manners. Alas, I seem to remain one of the few stalwarts. Now with cell phones and the internet, it’s much easier to blow people off. Back in my day, and Pansy’s too, no doubt, you had to make an effort to meet up or to actually meet someone new. That means you set a time and a place to meet someone out, you showed up at said time and place, and that was that. Man up, men!
“Mistakes”: All I can say about this song is that anyone who can rhyme he word “doozy” in a song is a lifelong friend of mine.
If you’re a fan of PD, then you already know they are the Masters of Unrequited Love. “My Heart Aches For You” is a beautiful case in point.
Then there’s Chris Freeman’s “(Is This What It’s Like) Getting Old,” or what I like to call my current Theme Song. I don’t need to spell out the lyrics—I’m sure you get the drift of the hilarious bon mots extolled without needing a recitation on all the indignities of old age. Although the line, “It takes longer, you’ll see, now I sit down to pee,” always cracks me up. When I get up in the middle of the night to urinate, don’t even think that I’m not plopped down on the toilet in the dark, eyes closed, piss streaming down into the bowl without a worry about anything splashing onto the seat. There is a great injustice in growing older, and these guys get it. They make fun of it, of course, and a Pansy Division album wouldn’t be complete without a song like this one. Nice job, Chris—you’re hilarious!
As for their cover of the Pet Shop Boys’ haunting ode “It’s A Sin,” well, it’s a miracle. For a remake, it’s a very simple take on the song. They have stripped it down to the bare bones: guitars, bass, drums, and vocals. Pure and simple. Powerful. They make it their own. The boys tackle religion in this homage to the British ‘80s hit, in a much lighter way than their blistering “Blame the Bible” (timely video here). Pansy Division has always been political but this collection of songs really hits the Religious Right below the belt. Right where it hurts. And speaking of “Blame the Bible,” there’s never been a more topical song that hits at the current Zeitgeist like this one. “Do you want him for your President?” “Hell, no!”
I’m a sucker for a throbbing rock song, and “Halfway to Nowhere” delivers in spades. Chris’s driving bass slithers directly into my bloodstream, firing up synapses like firecrackers. I imagine initiating a grudge fuck to this song blaring in the background, my anguished voice straining to drive home the words into my man’s ear, my breath hot and ragged, my tongue darting about in circles, the warm cartilage tasting deliciously salty, it’s such a shame that I hate him and his guilty-as-hell punk ass so much right now…Wait! Stop. Is it getting hot in here? ‘Cause I’m sorry, I’m just feeling super mad at Jake Gyllenhaal right now…
Good. Now that that’s over, I’d like to end my small ode to Quite Contrary with bringing up “Kiss Me At Midnight (New Year’s Eve)” because it is one of those melancholy songs that begs to be played during the penultimate scene in a coming-of-age tale starring Molly Ringwald or someone of her current ilk. I can visualize the spinning disco ball hovering over the tentative teenagers swaying below the dancing pins of light, watching over them, setting the mood for that one kiss you desire more than anything, the kiss at midnight that will seal your fate forever. Or at least, that’s how it feels at the time. The band has already tackled the holidays with “Homo Christmas” and “Valentine’s Day,” so it’s time they spoke about the dreaded/anticipated New Year’s Eve kiss. You know what? I’m calling in a favor to my film friends to persuade them to put this song in their movie. If it has a scene at midnight on December 31st, that is. Once that happens, all I want in return is a credit on the soundtrack album.
And another selfie with Jon Ginoli.
Check out the adorkable video for “Kiss Me At Midnight (New Year’s Eve) here and visit http://pansydivision.com for LPs, CDs, Books, DVDs, T-shirts and live gig info.
P.S. Last weekend, after listening to Quite Contrary over and over again, I continued my Pansy Division obsession by including the compilations More Lovin’ From Our Oven (1997) and The Essential Pansy Division (2006) and rocked out with my cock out to songs like “I’m Gonna Be A Slut,” “Horny in the Morning,” “The Cocksucker Club,” “James Bondage,” and “Groovy Underwear.” I’m speaking about my cock literally here. After all, I couldn’t help but get deliciously horny myself. In fact, I was so overtaken by the music pounding in my brain that when I took a break from cleaning the apartment building last Sunday (#janitorlife), all I wanted to do was whip out my dick and take a pic in the bathroom mirror, which I quickly did before zipping up my Dickies jumpsuit and returning to finish sweeping and mopping our three-floor walkup in Greenpoint. No filter, no fuss, no erection, just a simple, slightly blurry #dickpic in honor of Pansy Division.
No fucking apologies.
#NSFW #Dickies #TomofFinland #rockoutwithyourcockout
